1. Women don't like explosions, in art or in life. WRONG! I totally just saw How to Train Your Dragon in 3D with my little brothers and while I enjoyed the story, the 3D fireballs here and there did not go unappreciated.

2. Women aren't as funny as men. We're often cleverer, frequently wittier, but to be really funny demands a certain clownishness that our grace just does not allow. It's fine, really it is. Bah! Maybe YOU'RE not as funny, but I certainly have my moments. Anyone doubting if a woman can be funny needs to look up CommunityChannel on YouTube.

3. We grow pathetic goatees and look awful in cargo shorts anyway. ??? Okay, not gonna touch this one.

4. Women are aware of about 10 percent of the things men actually think and say about us. Best to keep it under five. Meh...mine tends to hover around 0%.

5. Women love to be taken out to eat. It makes our day. Free food is good. Making a guy feel like it's his social obligation to buy it and my social obligation to be dependent, not so good.

6. A clean apartment will get you more bedroom antics than you'd think. Okay...this is probably true. Should probably clean my place...

7. Given the chance, women will smell and re-smell the scented-candle display at the store. We really can do this for ages. Um...depends on the candle.

8. Our clothes are complicated, our shoes unforgiving, and our constitutions delicate, so please, valet park. Pfft, it's your own fault for dressing that way.

9. Every living woman likes wedding stuff. Even lesbians. Er...okay, I used to look at wedding magazines, but I know plenty of girls who didn't.

10. "Girls' night out" is usually some other woman's idea. Logically, doesn't someone have to be the other woman in this situation?

11. Women would rather be with you. We like you. Honestly, we talk about you all the time. True, guys can be good company because they don't come up with stupid lists like this. But neither does my sister.