Diary Tuesday
It's Not Beginning to Feel Anything Like Christmas

I can't really remember the last time I had a proper Christmas with all the decorations and feelings of anticipation. It makes sense that those feelings would mellow as the years go on, specifically in a family that doesn't really do presents. But I used to still love the season regardless. Now days it just seems to pass me by. It doesn't help that the closest it gets to winter chill in California is a gross drizzly day like today. I did have a nice cup of peppermint tea upon arriving home, which does summon some good memories of childhood. But I still don't feel like this time of year is different than any other.

It's not that I really miss Christmas. It's more that I miss, missing Christmas. I miss how important it would have once been to me to decorate and celebrate. This feeling of sameness when so many other people feel different, is worse than encountering any Christmas Scrooge.