Friday, October 02, 2009

Dream Therapy?



So I had a dream that I was so angry at my mother and sister that I was throwing a tantrum much like a toddler. I was throwing soft items and yelling too. In the dream my mother had scheduled a driving class for me, but she hadn't checked with me first, so I couldn't go to it because I didn't have a permit. Yes, a rather stupid reason to be so upset even though there was a nonrefundable fee involved. But this is my dream self and my waking self can lie and pretend I never get that irrationally upset. I think I was so upset in the dream I may have growled in my sleep.

Then the dream meandered quite drastically and I was in a limousine with Draco Malfoy. Apparently we were a couple (and I'll never need to learn to drive with a chauffeur! But, of course, in my dream I'd already forgotten all about that). Then I was flying around my old college campus (sans Draco).

So, yes, quite a bizzare dream, but even more bizzare is how I felt afterwards. Completely relaxed, a feeling that has stayed with me the whole day. Yesterday I was stressed-out, anxious, and overwhelmed. Today I was completely mellow. When I think about what was bothering me so much yesterday, it barely seems to register as a problem. I've gone back to feeling like all I can do is try my best and just not worry about the rest. Which is, of course, always the logical recourse, but somehow today it's far easier to believe than yesterday.

So, hopefully this isn't a sign of some strange mental disorder. (I may be mellow, but I'm still a mellow hypochondriac). I only wish I really understood what shift in brian chemistry caused this sudden peace of mind so I could work at feeling the same in the future. Was it the extra sleep? I usually get a lot of sleep, though. True, the day I was stressed, I hadn't gotten much sleep because I had volunteer training in the morning. So I suppose maybe I just feel better by contrast. But I have a hard time believing that. This is as close to peace as I've been in a long time, no matter how much sleep I've had. Was it some extra vitamin in my food? The only change in life-style lately is that I started putting a nightly mask of honey on my face to soften my skin. Did the honey seep through my skin into my brain?

Or is there some kind of subconscious mediator in my head? Some mix between anger and anxiety management?

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