Wildcard Wednesday
Moody Thoughts
Moody Thoughts
The heart breaks when you lose a friend, but it's rare to have friends you don't eventually lose. If you're reading this, there's a good chance you're a friend, and I haven't lost you yet. So thank you. A big thanks even to those who will never see this. On the surface, it's a depressing thought. And, I guess, it is under the surface as well. But, in other ways, it's good that people can grow and change, even if it means growing apart. Sometimes friends are forever, and sometimes they're the person you need at that time. I don't think one is necessarily better than the other. We're trained to feel betrayed if someone leaves us, but what if we left them first? What if we changed so much or they changed so much that you're both just too different? Should that negate all the kindnesses they've done you in the past? I don't think so. I think there's something to be said for knowing when you've got nothing more to give. Having a friend grow apart from you is always a loss, but accepting that it's natural can give you solace. As long as we still have great people in our lives, we should rejoice and count ourselves lucky. I know I have (and have had) great people in mine.
1 comment:
I've been facing this recently after reconnecting with my high school best friend. She's got a child she didn't plan for with Aspberger's (sp?) and I just honestly can't relate to her. I don't want to be cruel because he's a great kid, but sometimes I get frustrated because she used to have more career ambitions and now she just wants something to bring in a little extra cash and prevent herself from growing crazy. And I know your world changes when you have children, but I think we stopped trying to go out together recently because I confronted her on her lack of ambition outside raising her son. And, in retrospect, that wasn't the best thing to do, but I hate seeing bright women not living up to their potential. So, we've stopped talking to each other again. But I'm losing a lot of friends to having children because I honestly cannot relate to those issues and find them dull in comparison to intellectual work. Maybe that makes me a selfish person, but it's a major change for a woman to become a mother and those of us who choose not to do so are left behind more when that schism comes than anything else. Or maybe I'm just biased to that problem because I'm at that age where everyone getting married and having their first child. Either way I hate growing apart, but it's happening a lot lately.
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