Deer, Birds, Bees and Keys

Things I saw walking back from Gilpatrick the other night: a stag eating grass on the academic quad. The deer population seems to be rising as I've seen more than ever this year. The rowdy drunken senior population who hang out in the common area between the apartments behind my dorm also seem to be increasing. I would only recommend hunting one of these populations in order to control it. Hint: I like animals.

Random thought of the Day: What do birds and bees have to do with sex? I mean, I'm sure they copulate to continue their own populations but hopefully not with each other...

Question of the Day (ignoring the fact that the random thought was a question): I was pondering this with a fellow Denison student so I do not take all credit, though I have always wondered myself. During the summer the dorms are locked by key rather than key card. But the key is also your room key. Does that mean all room keys of a dorm are the same? This seems unlikely. So how do they make so many different keys open one door but still block other keys?

Urgh...

I have to wake up for an 8:30 class tomorrow. My roommate got a grin out of that when I told her. I also have a first day assignment due Tuesday. This is shaping up to be a rough first week.

In book review news I am actually reading several books at once which is not something I do normally and it is fragmenting my brain accordingly. I have not finished any of these books but I can provide analysis on each of them (perhaps revealing why I've yet to finish them). I recently scolded my friend Tim for judging a book before he had finished so I won't say that these books are bad. Merely that most of them start out that way. I'm determined to finish all of them eventually, though. "Eventually" however, can simply mean at some point in my life.

1.) Moving Pictures by Terry Pratchett: Not Pratchett's best, I'm sorry to say. It's one of his more abstract views on the fabric of reality. It also doesn't feature any of my favorite characters. Vetinari pops up occasionally, but not nearly enough to keep me interested, and the main protagonists are clearly throw-away characters that I'll never see again aside from Gaspode the Wonder Dog. While Gaspode is funny I'm more interested in humans.

2.) Angels and Demons by Dan Brown: The fact that this book got published makes me feel a whole lot better about my chances. The premise is all right, but the villains are flat comic-book like people who seem to be evil just for the sake of it and the good guys aren't much better developed. The style lacks the usual eloquence that I expect from a good book. It is written as a novel yet it has all the mental depth of a James Bond film.

3.) Phantom by Terry Goodkind: I already did a long preliminary review on this so I'll just briefly update to say that I'm still having issues with this book. I usually accept Goodkind's violence and gore because the story is so compelling and action-packed. But the characters have done practically nothing for the past hundred pages or so but reminisce about how horrible the evil New Order army is and how they rape and kill everyone. Yes. I get it. I KNOW. Move on with the story! I also like Goodkind's philosophy, but when the characters do nothing but ponder for fifty or so pages I begin to squirm. Plus Goodkind's male fantasies are showing through more than they usually do which once again leads to the bad fan fiction feel. At least two all-powerful beautiful women want to copulate with Richard (who is ALREADY MARRIED to another beautiful and all-powerful woman) and this nearly escalated into a cat fight. Luckily it didn't because I would have had to throw the book at the wall at that point and it's rather heavy and the walls here already have holes...

4.) Rasputin's Daughter by Robert Alexander: This is actually the best book I've been reading so far. I just picked it up randomly in the library because I've always been interested in Russian history of the Romanov era and the cover has a both disturbing yet captivating image of a haunted and angry-looking young woman. I got to Chapter 6 before forcing myself to put it down. It's a highly suspenseful account of the week before Rasputin's infamous murder told from the perspective of his teenaged daughter. I like that while it doesn't say Rasputin was a good person, his daughter clearly loved him, so it's a much different account than we normally get. She doesn't try to hide his rather questionable activities, but she has come to accept them, so she doesn't portray Rasputin as the center of all evil. Plus it's a murder mystery to boot and far more artfully written than Dan Brown's in any case. Probably the only reason I haven't finished it is because I know that, if I pick it up again, I won't do anything else for the rest of the day.

This is also an unprecedented amount of books for me to be reading all at once. I can't remember the last time I read so many, in any case, so I hope I don't go insane when school starts.

No Turkish Delight...

I searched Granville and was shocked to find that they didn't have any Turkish Delight that I could buy anywhere. I know it's a small town but even Bexley stocked some in the corner drugstore. Oh well, perhaps I shall have to track down an errant Snow Queen?

Pictures of the Week

In an effort to make this blog vaguely interesting to someone who might read it I've decided to add pictures more frequently. They might not actually be every week, but I'd like them to be, so we'll see. Anyway, these are some old pictures from Taiwan, but they're quite amusing and I don't think I ever got the chance to talk about them. I also just learned that if you click the picture, you can see a bigger version. Just a heads up in case you, like me, are a slow learner.

I apologize for the glare of the flash, but it was too dark to get the picture otherwise. Plus, people tend to look at you strangely when you laugh and take pictures of signs, so I had to do this quickly when there was no one to see me. At any rate, here we see an excellent Taiwanese elevator sign. Even if one cannot read the characters, the pictures are quite clear. The first picture in the upper left hand corner advises talking to a policeman who lives in the wall should any problems occur. Then the picture in the upper right corner advises sitting down in the elevator after a long day's work and having pleasant conversations with your colleagues as a form of stress relief. The lower left is my favorite. It clearly tells an avant-garde and abstractly philosophical cautionary tale of minature twin sisters who lived in a shoebox their whole lives until one day they finally popped the top off and were horrified to find that the outside world consisted only of a bleak, blue abyss. Overcome with grief one sister faints dead away. The last picture may appear to tell people to use the stairs instead of the elevator in an emergency, but really it's revealing that if you go through the green exit of heavenly white light, X will mark the spot to a long lost pirate treasure.

Here's a pic of a dog waiting patiently at a streetlight. It is my scientific opinon that dogs in Taiwan have this behavior ingrained in their genetics as the dogs who don't would not likely live long enough to continue their genes.

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On a random note I would also like to explain why I don't have a Facebook account. The idea of Facebook rubs me the wrong way for several reasons. The first being that if someone is truly my friend, then I feel they'll take the trouble to keep in touch with me in the first place rather than looking me up one day when they're feeling nostalgic. This doesn't mean that I expect constant correspondence from my friends, or that I wouldn't be thrilled to hear from an old friend out of the blue, but I'm presently confident that all of the friends who have completely lost track of me have done so on purpose and due to no lack of trying to keep in touch on my part. Furthermore, when I was younger, I was quite fond of message boards, and I met plenty of internet friends with the same interests there rather than needing to be sorted into a certain category on any Facebook group. I also have grown mostly out of my message board phase and have found a plethora of other things to waste my time on. I still talk on message boards occasionally, but I'm no where near as keen on them as I used to be. Finally there's just something creepily cultish about Facebook in my opinion. Things that are popular tend to detract me automatically and my feelings about a thing only change if I see a good reason for its popularity, but I personally have no use for Facebook. I know that many people use Facebook for purely practical reasons. I want to make it very clear that I am not refering to these people. But so many more seem to use it like some kind of virtual popularity contest. When I hear people having long conversations about who's signed who's Facebook wall and their pleasure at abusing the "hooked-up with/dating/marriage" status options, I just feel like these are people who lead rather small and meaningless lives, and I have no desire to join them.

Yay Mag!

Tim did finally show up last night with his charming fiancee Mag and we had a rather late dinner and a fun tour of Denison and Granville today, during which Mag took many wonderful pictures of my college campus and I took some pictures of a "Put Your Cardboard Here" sign.

Very few women would be okay with the fact that Tim is still friends with his ex-girlfriend, so I am very lucky that he is marrying Mag. Plus I feel I get another excellent friend in the bargain. I also know, that as the ex-girlfriend, very few people would believe just how happy about this I am. But luckily those people won't likely be reading this blog at any rate. Besides, anyone who could dislike Mag would have to have a heart of ice, that girl is just too sweet.

Freaking OUT!!!

My friend Tim is supposed to be visiting me tonight and he's late, which is nothing new for Tim but I'm worried because I forgot to tell him that the emergency call boxes outside the dorms only work if you call the last four digits of the phone number. If he calls my full phone number he'll hear ringing but no one will pick up so he'll think I'm not here and that I callously forgot about him and his fiancee! Nothing could be farther from the truth. I've been peering out the slits in the blinds for the last few hours like some crazy paranoid girl every time I hear the sound of a car. I've run outside twice when I thought I spotted them and shouted desperately out the window once at someone who looked lost. I even taped little signs on the call boxes in my vicinity that tell how to use them but I couldn't check all the dorms and I'm not sure which call box he'll use. Assuming he even recognizes the little yellow boxes. Some of them have signs all ready but the print on them is really small, it's quite dark, and Tim's not the read-the-instructions kind of fellow. At least, not when I last knew him. Normally I'm against cell phones but it's times like these I do wish everyone had them. Or, at least, telepathic abilities.

Gurgle!

Where is he?!?!?!?!?!

Update: Now almost 2 hours late. More updates as my neurotic behavior increases. And I just want to say that I hate the GRE and their stupid writing snobs for giving me a stupid writing grade of an essay I was quite proud of.

Update 3 seconds later: That stupid security van keeps driving by and stupid people keep making noises outside and I saw a large silver van but it doesn't look like the silver bullet (Tim's name for his very stylish mini-van.) Though, I don't know if he drives that anymore.

Yaaargh!

French Canadian...

Apparently I understand Canadian French much better than normal French. Dang it. Nothing against Canada, it's just I've been trying to learn standard French for nine years now... I came to this conclusion while listening to "God Help the Outcasts" on YouTube in Arabic, Chinese, French, and Canadian French. I was frustrated with how much less of the normal French one I understood but I comforted myself that it was just because songs in general are hard to understand at times. Then I listened to the Canadian one.

Oh well. Canada is closer...

Han Solo Vs. Aragorn

IMDB had this poll and called it a "showdown" but then after I voted I realized they might have just meant which character I like best. Or which I'm more interested in romantically? In any case, I thought they meant who would win in a fight, which is a no-brainer--Han Solo. Because Han would inevitably cheat and Aragorn's far too noble for that. Plus, blaster vs. sword? So I voted for Han. But if the question was who I'm more romantically interested in that would be Aragorn for the same reason he'd lose in a fight. Though I'm more of a Legolas girl myself, I'm more than happy to "settle" for Aragorn if it's between him and Han. However, if they're talking about who's the best character then I'd have to say Han again because Aragorn's just far too serious.

So that's two out of three for Han and I've proved that it's not just because I'm a Star Wars fan but rather that I have logical reasons.

Terry Goodkind's Phantom

Warning: If you have not read this book, and do not wish to be spoiled, do not read this.

This is sort of a preliminary book review since I'm only on page 78 out of 587. But so far I have to say that I'm disappointed. I used to love these characters, but I can no longer move myself to care whether they live or die. To be fair I've always found Goodkind's books difficult to get into, so perhaps I only need to give it another couple hundred pages. Plus my sister, who reads the novel I am writing at present in small 5 page sections as I crank them out, recently observed that there is a "flattening quality" that affected the characters when she only read small sections. When she went back once and read from the beginning her opinion of my characters seemed to improve. So it may be that since I have not read, Chainfire, the book preceding this new novel in quite some time, I do not remember the characters well enough. All the same I shall give my impressions so far.

Richard, who is commonly my favorite character, has lost his charm for me in a lot of ways by starting out the book as an insufferable know-it-all. Though my memory of Chainfire is foggy, I do remember that Richard spent the entire book trying to convince everyone that his wife Kahlan had disappeared. I felt frustrated for his sake during this entire ordeal. It was deeply psychological in the sense that even though I did not think Goodkind would do something as cheap as to make his character turn out to be simply delusional, all the evidence pointed to this fact almost until the very end. As a reader you even began to question the existence of a character that you had read about in 8 whole books. Despite the fact that it would have been sheer literary folly to say that she never existed, I began to worry. But Goodkind has pushed it over the top by beginning this book with another instance where Richard is the only one who knows something is wrong with a spell his grandfather and friends have created.

On one hand, it could just be my foggy memory of Richard's previous adventures that makes this part annoying. He insists he is an expert on "emblematic forms" though I can recall no incident of this. When Kahlan disappeared it was an emotional memory and it was Richard's will to get her back, and refusal to let go of her memory, even if everyone else thought he was insane, that endeared him to me. However, this time it is purely intellectual and I am forced to agree with the annoying characters that there is no way he could know what he is saying. It's like reading a bad fan fiction and Richard is a horrible Mary Sue, capable of solving everyone's problems with a wave of the hand. At the same time, even though there's no reason he should know there's a problem with the spell; it's irksome that the same people who doubted him in the first book are doubting him once more. One would think they would have learned their lesson. Only his grandfather believes him but cannot help, of course, because only Richard has the power to undo the spell. Even though I do know why only Richard can undo the spell since he is the only other person free with Subtractive Magic and his Subtractive powers are a well established fact (unlike his emblematic studies) his ability alone to resolve the problem only exacerbates the too-easy feel of the situation.

Then there is the trouble with Nicci who seems on the verge of death in the first few chapters yet I cannot seem to care. This is in stark contrast when Richard's companion Cara was in mortal danger in the last book and I kept reading because I needed to know that she would be okay. But the idea of Nicci dying does not seem to bother me at the moment. I used to have some respect for Nicci as a villain and still respected her when she turned good. But in these first few chapters she seems like nothing more than a lovesick puppy, only living for Richard's sake. It is not that I mind her love for Richard but rather that it seems to have become the very core of her personality. Originally I had the feeling that she loved, not only Richard, but what he represents which is the nobility of the human spirit and the importance of individuality. So it is sad for me to see someone who I had thought appreciated individuality clinging so tragically to unrequited love and the dependency on another person.

My last complaint is the complexity of the magic in the first few chapters. Goodkind has always said he is not a world builder and it is the philosophy of the books that is most important. This was something I always respected about him, that his ideas could work in a story that featured no magic at all. The magic was just there to make it more fun and exciting. Don't get me wrong, I love fantasy and I will have a long debate with anyone who disregards it as a lesser genre. But that is because I have always believed that good writing transcends genre and that at the core of any good story is something universal. Therefore I was upset when I was treated to a lengthy discussion of abstract magic in the first few chapters. Perhaps there was something philosophical in the discussion, but it was buried under layers of magical theory that was so far removed from any sort of reality that I could neither comprehend nor relate to it. I don’t take issue with the reasonable explanation of magic’s limitations so we understand that all problems cannot be solved with the wave of a wand. But I do not care about the nitty gritty details of how the magic works; I care how the people work. And they have not been working very much in the last few chapters.

As for Kahlan, I am afraid she has never been my favorite character and the loss of all of her memories has not improved this.

There are hundreds more pages to go though and I still have hopes it will improve. As I said at the beginning I have always had trouble getting into Goodkind's books. If I had not been bored and on vacation and had my sister not positively insisted it was a good book, I never would have gotten through The Wizard's First Rule which begins "It was a very interesting vine..." I mean come on. So I hope that this book improves as I read more as many of its precursors did. Though I think Faith of the Fallen shall remain my favorite. I recommend everyone to read the first half of this series just so you can read Faith of the Fallen which is the most inspiring book I have ever read and helped put words to many of my own convictions which I could never explain so eloquently myself. Terry Goodkind will remain one of my favorite authors because of that one book even if he never writes another good book again (though I certainly hope he does.)

What's the point of Getting Older...

...If I still get acne? Seriously. Am I going to go straight from acne to wrinkles?

However, I will say I like it that now when I go into a grocery store I'm making a conscious decision not to buy alcohol rather than simply not being able to.

And my little brother's Dennis's birthday was actually an hour or so ago but I'll give him a shout out all the same despite the fact that he's only 5, won't read this, and refused to talk to me on the phone when I called. My other little brother, Curtis, also stole the phone the first time I called, made several obnoixous noises, and then left it on top of some radio playing rap music which is, in my opinion, worse than elevator music, so I was forced to hang up, but when I tried to call again it became clear that he had not hung up the phone and that no one had noticed so it was indefinitely busy. Yeah. It's funny when it's not you. It seems I'm doomed to love Curtis as much as I want to strangle him. As for Dennis he's never particularly warmed to me (as evidenced by his refusal to speak with me). What does it mean when the only little brother who loves you appears to be some sort of demon from the netherworld?

I would also like to put out a notice to the black-hearted villain who stole my dish soap. I left you a polite note to return the soap. It has been many days and the soap was not returned. I was forced to buy new soap. I know it's petty. I know it probably wasn't even stolen but more likely innocently removed by a confused member of the cleaning staff unable to concieve of a student who would want to wash dishes. I know it's not that expensive. But I am short-tempered and quick to hold a grudge so by the blood of my forbearers I shall hunt you down.

In all honesty little things like this do make me unreasonably upset. Probably why I was put into anger management at the age of 11. All the same I don't like being angry. I know I should just let it go. But I still find myself coolly considering all the people around me wondering if they're the kind of person to steal dish soap. I hate it! I hate being suspicious of people. I much prefer thinking well of everyone, but how can I trust people who steal something as stupid as dish soap? It's horribly selfish since I put it out for the purpose of letting everyone use it and so they didn't just steal it from me. They didn't even have to steal it!

I know, I know, I need help, whatever. If anger management didn't cure me then, it won't cure me now.

What?!

Apparently there's a cult on a small island somewhere who worship Prince Philip:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanna

Furthermore, I admit I just learned today that there is a Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and husband of Queen Elizabeth II. Talk about being overshadowed. I always assumed that her husband was dead since I never heard anyone refer to a present King of England. But that's not because he's dead but rather because he's not King.

Yeah, yeah, I'm American and they don't teach us things.

Wengo Phone Redeemed...

Sorta. Okay. It's working now and Skype was wigging out on me so, since it means so much to my sister, I shall declare Wengo Phone redeemed. For now. If it starts echoing me or giving me gruff again, though, it goes back on my evil list.

How hard is it to make pancakes?

Apparently a lot harder than I thought.

Soul Mate's Response

All right, I admit I actually wasn't expecting that. Especially not this soon. I figured he'd delete the email outright, thinking it was spam or porn or something. Or worried that he wouldn't delete it because he thought it was porn. I'm still not saying he's my soul mate, despite the title of this entry. But I know a bit more about him now which is interesting. Now, if he isn't intimidated by the long letter I sent back, I might find out more. If not, though, it simply wasn't meant to be because any man that wouldn't be able to put up with my endless rambling and inability to be concise couldn't possibly be my soul-mate.

Okay, so I can be concise sometimes. But one shouldn't count on it, or base a relationship on it.

Zelda, Toilets, and Soul Mates, Oh my...

Probably the biggest discovery I made today is this trailer for a Legend of Zelda fan film. It's a movie clearly made on limited resources, but I'm very impressed with what they've done all the same. Having made only a 2 minute film with a a friend of mine, I know how much hard work goes into movie making, and I have a high admiration for anyone who would make a feature length film with no promise of monetary compensation. Besides, it is my hope that the story and acting are decent.

http://www.zeldarevolution.net/Files/zeldatrailer.mov

I also did some fencing today which is an aspect of my life I like to brag about. I'm not sporty, but I find fencing interesting enough to go through physical exertion for it. I don't want to compete because I'm sure I'd never live down the shame of being beaten by some ten year old prodigy. However, I have a great respect for anyone willing to take such a blow to their ego. As for me, I'm simply happy to hold a sword and fence with someone who's willing to have fun and not by making fun of how bad I am.

A brief update on my toilet's identiy crisis. There is, in fact, another word written on it. "Mansfield." Though it still says "Church" as well.

I was also informed by a friend of mine that she has met my soul mate and she gave me his email address. As this is not something one gets told everyday I figured it couldn't hurt to look into it, so I have sent an email to a boy I have never met. More on this if I find out anything more myself.

Huh...

Women in the United States were allowed to stand for election over a century before they were allowed to vote.

http://archive.idea.int/women/parl/ch6_table8.htm

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On a completely unrelated note I also realized today that my toilet has the word "Church" prominently displayed on it and nothing else. I think it may have an identity crisis.

Things I've Learned Today...

Philip Pullman hates monkeys.

WengoPhone is evil (though my sister insists vehemently otherwise). I don't care if it's open source, I never had this many problems with Skype. I shall advertise Skype now. Everybody go get Skype.

My sister seems to take this as a personal slight. So I want to make it very clear that I love my sister. I hate WengoPhone. My sister is also quite brillant. She just gets these...ideas.... The type of ideas that insist that innovation can't be user friendly.

As for the things I hoped to get done yesterday. I did a little research on Confucius and some editing in my Science Fiction, realized that I could do something really cool--provided I changed the whole course of the story at some point--got depressed at the enormity of the task and the lateness of the hour, did some stretches and went to bed listening to Pullman's The Tiger in the Well, which is how I learned of his aversion to monkeys having already got through the entire His Dark Materials series. One evil monkey is a coincidence. Two suggests a deep psychological fear. Besides, the lengths that he went to portray this animal as a denizen from the deepest depths of some fiery underworld... I mean, he's perfectly free to dislike monkeys. I'm just curious as to his reasons. Anyway, it's probably clear from this that I got addicted to the story and spent my whole day listening to it.

Still working on being useful as a human being.

Okay...

So I won't likely update very much. Originally this wasn't even meant to be a serious blog as is evidenced by the previous posts. But I've thought a webpage might have its uses. Though I can't think of what at the moment. Anyway, I think I'll write down what I did today. Even though I highly doubt anyone is reading, the slight chance that someone will may motivate me into useful activity through shame at admitting I'm so lazy.

Anyway, today I bought groceries (despite already having done so on Tuesday.) Nearly got blown over by crazy high winds.

Got to hear: My roommate's phone ringing repeatedly. The band camp practicing at my university.

Ate. Stared at my computer. Checked my email. Looked at Mugglenet and the Leaky Cauldron far too many times. Found out how to change my blog's template and add my profile and pic. Felt unreasonably proud. Still trying to figure out how to add links.

Things I SHOULD have done today and have four or five hours left to do:

Write in my novel
Edit one of my completed novels
Research....

Things I would have liked to have done today:

Watched a movie. Though, actually, more accurately I would have liked to have wanted to watch a movie. As it is I can never convince myself it's worth the time I would otherwise waste.